Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Dumbass Without A Cause

"Yes, I knew it was Lent, but I ordered a hamburger for lunch anyway."

Earlier today, some lady confessed to a hit-and-run that killed a pedestrian… then this dipshit comes in and tells me he ate some beef?

If I had a nickel for every parishioner who thought eating meat on a Friday was a bona fide affront to God, I could buy the throne from right out under Jesus in Heaven. I’ve heard every sin under the sun a thousand times over, so if you didn’t do something crazy like kill a person or blaspheme the Holy Spirit, don’t be surprised if I take a nap during your boring-ass confession, DUMBASS.


  1. You're not a real priest, right?

  2. father, I have come to you because my own parishioners are also boring idiots - how may I possibly forgive them for their uneventful lives and shitty shaggy dog stories?

  3. yr a shitty fucking priest to fuck up peoples lives like this, you are supposed to ELEVATE THEIR SOULS you c-sucking prickhole. burn in hell you are DENIED grace, cunt.